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The conventional wisdom is that marriage makes us whole, that it completes us (as if alone we were unfinished).
But as much as I loved being married, I see now that dilution might provide a better metaphor.
But to go on dates with 86 different men is to gain as many windows on the world; it is to see one’s vast city and one’s vast self, if only for a few hours, through the eyes of a stranger one would never otherwise have met. 10, which found me at a Rhode Island pub on a February evening so brutally cold the authorities had advised us all to stay indoors. We drank the espresso martinis he had ordered and argued about welfare; we talked of fathers.
James the boat builder drove me home that February morning, skidding a few times on the black ice of the highway.
I kissed him goodbye on the doorstep, fairly certain I would not be seeing him again.
I’ve met United Nations diplomats and my favorite movie star’s ex-husband.
I have spent a summer dog-sitting in Los Angeles and flown to Jamaica for a third date; licked cocaine off car keys and undressed at midnight in a Barcelona square.