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After I told the driver my destination, we sat in silence for approximately 10 whole seconds before he asked the inevitable question, “so what kind of Oriental are you then? Lucky for both of us, it wasn’t rush hour quite yet.
” Before I could say anything, he interrupted with, “I know it’s rude to ask these things, but you see, my wife is Chinese, so…” “So, what? What makes this conversation so unique was that this man was able to call himself out on his own ignorance but he seemed to view himself as an exception because of his relationship with an Asian woman.
Ultimately, white romantic partners of Asians have no authority to say what is or isn’t racist towards Asians and what our community should or shouldn’t be offended by. The simple answer is, because they are not Asian themselves and you cannot become Asian by association.
No matter how serious your relationship may be with an Asian person — and even if you have lived in Asia at some point in your life — a white person can never understand the experiences of an Asian American.
Negative stereotyping, lack of positive representation, a lifetime of systematic and individual racism – these are things you can only experience as a POC.
Asian Americans still face discrimination and micro-aggressions in their day-to-day lives; therefore, to erase this dialogue would be a gross act of silencing a marginalized voice.However, there is one specific conversation my mind always returns to.It was a horribly rainy afternoon in Cardiff and I rushed into a taxi to avoid the wet Welsh weather. ” For the rest of the journey, we sat in awkward silence.While I admittedly question the logic of these Asian men and women who choose to stay in such relationships regardless of the clear lack of respect or even the most basic understanding, it’s not my place or anyone else’s to tell another person who they should date.In general, I don’t view interracial relationships as problematic – like with most situations, it’s the select few that exhibit toxic traits.